Warning: this is a soapbox post. I’m publishing it anyway.
I find it appalling that I live in a nation that can legally force a moral, kind, contributing father and partner – a payer of taxes and giver to community and dare I say it? pretty darn normal guy – out of our country by denying his marital status. But I do. I live in a place where celebrities can marry and divorce within one phase of the Moon, and no one blinks. Where people spend thousands and thousands of dollars on a wedding reception only to announce the demise of the relationship a few months later. Where certain candidates running for the Presidential nomination can be married, and divorced, and married, and divorced, and married again and then proceed to denounce the opposition as lacking in real family values.
I heard someone describe Newt Gingrich as the “redemption candidate”.
Are you kidding me?
Frankly I don’t care how many times people get married and there are absolutely critical reasons for which a marriage may break down. But if we’re going to be authentic and just and compassionate when defining what marriage really is, or is supposed to be – a relationship based on love and respect and honesty and commitment and a sense of humor – then the marriage between Frederic Deloizy and Mark Himes is one that I aspire to.
Frederic and Mark have spent over two decades together. They are raising four beautiful, healthy children together.
And yet because of our country’s policies around same-sex marriage, these men are on the brink of witnessing their family dissolve, because Frederic’s visa has expired. Frederic faces deportation because immigration officials are barred from recognizing their marriage under the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).
I truly hope that the authors of future history books describing American immigration policy in the year 2012 are paying attention. One day we will re-write such policy to not only welcome persons such as Frederic Deloizy across our borders, but celebrate his contribution to our community.
Please join me in learning more about these men’s courageous journey on their blog (you can read it here).
And if you are so inclined, here’s how you can help. Call, write, text or Tweet the following people:Senator Robert P. Casey, Jr. 393 Russell Senate Office Building Washington, D.C. 20510 Phone: (202) 224-6324 Toll Free: (866) 802-2833 Fax: (202) 228-0604 On twitter @senbobcasey Link to Senator Casey’s contact form Secretary Janet Napolitano Department of Homeland Security U.S. Department of Homeland Security Washington, D.C. 20528 202-282-8000
As always, thank you for reading.