A painful thorn of the past year was an inability to stop. Stop thinking, stop doing, stop thinking about doing. Whether at work or at home, I frequently felt that I was leaving something undone. I failed to find a place where I felt productive enough to feel satisfied without sacrificing quality in my work, home, and life in general. At home in particular, I was often unsatisfied with how much I accomplished in a day. There were always more chores to do and tasks I enjoy but couldn’t give enough time to (i.e. gardening… all I grew this year were hundreds of cherry tomatoes) and scrapbooking (I have piles of photos to sort and save).
Aware of this prickly thorn piercing an otherwise lovely life, I tried, and tried, and tried to stop thinking about productivity ….um, well, I didn’t really try. In fact, I wasted time and energy in thinking about productivity that prevented doing much of anything!
A sweet rose that I planted and grew in 2011 is this very blog (started June 2011 – read my very first post here). I have discovered a whole world of writers and bloggers, men and women, parents, professionals, and artists. I’ve heard from readers in Australia, South Africa, Mexico, China. It’s been a wonderful journey and I couldn’t continue without the support I’ve been given from family, friends and strangers.
A second rose has been watching my children grow and learn. In little M’s second year, he has gone from toddling to running, and the words are beginning to come a little easier these days. Among his big brother’s milestones are zipping his own jacket and writing his name – my favorite parenting moment thus far is definitely witnessing him write his name correctly for the very first time.
Many of the rosebuds I plan to cultivate in 2012 are listed in a post I published a day or so ago… you can read about them here. However, three fragile buds I plan to specially tend in the new year are:
1. Healing of heart, mind and soul. By reaching out to experts in the healing world, both known and unknown, I plan to explore newer and deeper ways to heal. This includes a stronger commitment to spiritual, emotional and physical challenges. I’ve come to learn that healing doesn’t deny the pain of loss nor cause one to forget, something I once feared. Today I know that in healing comes a deeper connection to she whom I have loved, and lost.
2. Silence of spirit – late in the year, I experienced the change that happens after just seven days of practicing 30 minutes of daily silence. Silence brings me peace. Returning home, I attempted to keep up my silence practice before rising, or after getting the boys to bed, but it proved difficult. This year, I recommit to making silence a part of my daily work.
3. Fun – having more of it and seeking out opportunites to find more of it! My family and I have spontaneous dance parties (Big M likes Pearl Jam while little M prefers Mozart) in the dining room and we laugh and laugh. Having fun with your kids is the best.
I’m linking up with Jana’s Thinking Place today! Check out her blog here to read others’ plans for planting roses in 2012.