Top Ten Really, Really Bad Christmas Gifts for Really Little Kids

  1. Stuff they can’t successfully handle yet, especially stuff that involves fine motor skills. There is nothing more frustrating for toddlers and preschoolers than receiving toys with small pieces that they can’t figure out how to attach, hook, or stack.
  2. Toy cell phones, laptops, or other equipment. Toddlers can spot a fake a mile away. They want to play with the real thing.
  3. Paint. Seriously. Paint should only be allowed in preschool.
  4. Battery-operated fill-in-the-blank. These toys will eventually break or run out of juice, causing meltdown and destruction. And headaches, while they are in functional mode.
  5. Clothes. They’re boring. Unless your kid is like my toddler, who enjoys helping mom sort socks or put away freshly laundered items by tearing matches apart and pulling everything out of the dresser drawers. Over and over.
  6. Weapons. If you have boys, they will figure out how to make something, anything (rocks, sticks, Legos), into a weapon eventually. It is completely unnecessary (and awful, really) to purchase a plastic gun or laser blaster. Truly, toddlers are by nature destructive and supporting their cause by providing them with fake artillery from China is overkill. Don’t encourage them!
  7. Tissues. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, it is not fun to wipe a toddler’s nose. Not for the toddler, anyway. When I reach for yet another tissue, it’s a sign for the tiny person to run away.
  8. Dolls that resemble miniature call girls. I don’t have daughters, so we’re not big into dolls around here, anyway, but I recently saw an ad for Bratz dolls, including cosmetics. Really? In my house, my youngest regularly swipes my eyeliner to write on the wall or try and poke his eye out. I’ll pass on introductory corrective makeup for the preschool set, thanks.
  9. Steaming hot beverages. I don’t see the purpose of introducing hot chocolate or hot cider to children under six years old. It’s dangerous, y’all!
  10. Annoying DVDs – take your pick. Chances are the one with musical lyrics or grating characters (the ones you hate the most) will be the one your preschooler will adore. In our house, we approved Thomas the Train and a modicum of Bob the Builder at age three. But Barney is not welcome.

One thought on “Top Ten Really, Really Bad Christmas Gifts for Really Little Kids

  1. Let me add to your list a little:
    Things with a million little pieces to scatter all over
    Markers (I successfully banned paint)
    Anything your favorite little person won’t be able to use for a long time and so has to be stored and later found to be enjoyed.
    I could go on, but I try to be grateful for little kid gifts, even when they’re not what I would have picked out.
    This is fun!

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